When your child struggles with anxiety, everyday moments can feel unexpectedly heavy. A simple goodbye at school ends in tears. A pop quiz brings a stomachache. An invitation to a birthday party sparks panic instead of excitement. As a parent, it’s easy to feel helpless — or wonder if you’re doing something wrong.

But here’s the truth: you’re not failing. Your child isn’t broken. Anxiety just speaks a language that’s easy to miss if you don’t know what to listen for.

Anxiety in children isn’t just “worrying too much.” It’s a full-body response, wired for survival, that gets triggered even when there’s no actual danger. For some kids, it shows up as perfectionism. Others might cry, cling, avoid, or get angry over small things. They’re not trying to be difficult — they’re trying to feel safe in a world that often feels too big, too fast, or too uncertain.

And while your instinct might be to protect them — to smooth every bump in the road — that can accidentally teach them that they can’t handle hard things. What they really need is you: steady, calm, and close.

They need someone who doesn’t rush to fix, but sits with them through the fear. Who says, “This feels scary — and I’m here,” instead of “You’re fine, don’t worry.” They need a coach more than a rescuer — someone who helps them take small steps, gently encouraging them to stretch their courage without overwhelming them.

Routines and predictability help too. A heads-up before transitions. A few quiet minutes at bedtime. A worry journal or a pebble in their pocket for tough moments. These small anchors send a big message: You are not alone in this.

And while you’re showing up for them, it’s just as important to show up for yourself. Your calm nervous system is their best regulation tool. You don’t have to be perfect — just grounded enough to remind them that fear isn’t in charge. Taking care of your own mental health is part of the plan, not a side note.

Still, some days will feel like too much. When anxiety starts to impact your child’s sleep, friendships, school, or sense of joy, it’s time to reach out. Therapy can be a game-changer — not because something is “wrong,” but because growth is easier with support. At Whittier Counseling Center, we help parents navigate anxiety with tools, compassion, and hope.

Because parenting an anxious child isn’t about eliminating fear.
It’s about teaching them — and reminding yourself — that fear doesn’t get the final word.