By Luis Orozco, LCSW-

Grief is a natural reaction to a significant loss. It’s a process that can trigger several emotions and reactions. The most common ones are:

  • Numbness
  • Bewilderment
  • Sense of disbelief
  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Feeling of Emptiness
  • “If onlys”
  • Recurring thoughts of the person who died
  • Hallucinations of the person who has died
  • Sadness
  • Fatigue
  • Sleep Disturbance
  • Loss of appetite
  • Headaches
  • Irritability
  • Self-Reproach

In her book On Death and Dying, the well-known psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes the five stages of grief. She wisely unfolds the process undergone by people who are facing a tragic event, such as a terminal illness or the loss of a loved one. Below you will find a brief description of each stage:

Denial – At this stage, people usually have thoughts like “This is not real… this just cannot be happening to me.” Denial is a temporary self-defense mechanism to ease the pain caused by the loss.

Anger – During this stage, many get angry and think life is not fair. They may come into conflict and quarrel with people around them. All individuals experiencing grief are subject to projecting their resentment.

Bargaining – In the bargaining stage, people try to negotiate their situation with God. Usual requests at this stage are, for example, “God, allow me to live enough to see my kids grow… I promise I’ll be a better person.”

Depression – While enduring this stage, people start accepting their loss and depression invades their lives. As a consequence, individuals become silent, they reject visitors and spend most of the time crying. Cheering them up is not recommended, since this is a necessary process to cope with grief and overcome the loss. Nonetheless, companionship can be very beneficial in this stage. It can be comforting and more impactful than words.

Acceptance – The final stage brings peace and understanding regarding the inevitability of loss. Negative emotions and physical pain may disappear or may decrease. This stage is known as the end of the battle against the loss.

It is important to know there’s psychological assistance available to overcome the grief caused by a loss. A therapist can help people manage feelings especially if the the pain is too much to bare.

Below are other ways that can assist people cope with loss.

Connecting with loved ones. Speaking with family members or close friends and discussing the difficult experience can help individuals navigate the difficult situation.

Embracing feelings. Acknowledging feelings as they arise can also be beneficial, as it allows the mind and body to morn and process the pain in a natural and healthy manner.

Engaging in self-care. Getting enough rest, exercising and eating regularly is one of the best ways to remain healthy during difficult moments.

Staying active and maintaining a routine. Maintaining an active and productive schedule as much as possible gives comfort and helps the individual regain equanimity.

Being patient. Healing is an ongoing process and it takes time.