When you think of a man what are the first five characteristics that come to mind?

As a woman we often perceive men to be: smart, assertive, tough, masculine, or confident. Your first thoughts for the five characteristics were most likely not emotional, gentle, caring, kind, or playful. The reason why is society often projects men to be that “rock”. The type of people that should not express themselves too much or they’ll be portrayed as weak. According to Bernhardt and Peterson (1992), “Men are taught to keep their feelings to themselves, to be strong, aggressive, bear pain in silence, to trust only yourself. Robert Bly (1990) talks of men being fed and reared on a diet of silence and distance. Men are not typically taught how to identify their own feelings, how to identify the needs of their mates, how to nurture themselves or their children, nor how to be caring and sensitive generally to the needs of others. If there was a formula for isolation, alienation, and a sense of being totally alone, it would be very similar to the typical male socialization” (p. 3). Men often have difficulty seeking help or asking for advice, yet men frequently lack in their health, are more likely to be depressed, and commit suicide.

For example:

  • Male Suicide rate in 2021 is 4x high than women.
  • Men make up 80% of all suicides.
  • Men are less likely to seek treatment or see a doctor for their health needs.
  • Only 20% of fathers get custody of their children.
  • Men are 72% more likely to get longer sentences for a crime than women that committed the same crime.

Men carry so much on their plate. Whether they are a provider for their home or working to achieve their goals they must maintain this image that they are strong enough, masculine enough, and confident enough to take on any task that comes their way.  Society discourages men from being anything less. Men can’t cry or fall ill. They should work in places where they are getting their hands dirty rather than sitting in an office.

Let’s fight the stigma and create equality. Find help. Reach out. Speak up. Our boys are growing to be men that need us to care about their well-being!

References:

Bernhardt, G. R., & Peterson, F. L. (1992). Men’s Health and Well Being: Raising the Awareness of Mental Health Counselors.

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/suicide-data-statistics.html

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